Chabura

Tonight i'm feeling a bit hampered because i'm slightly tired. I may not be completely here and giving my full attention.

I've been feeling a little useless in the group and wondering whether i'm learning because i don't necessarily have a gauge. My oy gauge is that i don't tend to input as much as everyone else. Is that because of my nature or lack of experience. I do care.

I would like to help people more. I would like to give my advice. I don't want to attack personalities, but sometimes feel a strong urge to scream about my frustrations or because i want to lash out at a situation that i really really really want to help with, but have to bite my tongue and approach from what i see as a less constructive perspective. Thank Gd my patience wins. I think...

I'm a little tired and perhaps don't feel like being here tonight honestly. I'm a little mixed up.

I'm feeling small internal struggles in the beit midrash watching people blow in and out (no disrespect) and feeling a strong sense of being an anchor, which i didn't expect i would ever be.

I also hate Matthew's hair color.